Fanatical followers of this blog (and you both know who you are) will be aware that – as is my habit – I posted a short tongue-in-cheek piece from the Metropolitan Police Authority meeting at 11.06 on Thursday 25th February.

This poked gentle fun at the man I call the DCiC (Dog-Catcher-in-Chief), Kit Malthouse, and his sensitivity about the nit-picking from the Green’s Jenny Jones at his attendance record.  I referred to his boast that he had attended 46 meetings since the last session of the MPA and this Stakhanovite work-rate was even more impressive given that he had been on holiday for a week of that time.  I also mentioned his nickname: “HoT” – a reference to his Hand on Tiller fixation.

Sometimes I think my sense of humour is rather esoteric and unlikely to be shared by anyone else, so it was gratifying to learn that some three hours later at 2.02 Ross Lydall posted his own thoughts on the same subject on the Evening Standard web-site.  He even has his own nickname for Kit – he calls him “The Tillerman” and he linked to the same article as I did to illustrate the nitpicking.

My cup runneth over – I am not alone.

We clearly are thinking the same.

Ross Lydall, under the headline

Met chairman Kit Malthouse: Tea for the ‘Tillerman’ at so many meetings

said:

“Kit Malthouse began his first meeting as chairman of the Metropolitan Police Authority by revealing he had attended or chaired 46 meetings since the MPA last met (on January 28). What’s more, he had squeezed in a week’s holiday to boot.

Why this inconsequential start to proceedings? Because the Greens made quite a fusson the eve of his confirmation hearing as MPA chair (he succeeds the fleeing Boris, who has obviously realised what hard work it is) by revealing that Kit had failed to ever attend all three key MPA sub-committees of which he is a member in the 18 months since the Tory takeover of City Hall.”

And I said (just three hours earlier):

“The Metropolitan Police Authority is in session and the DCiC*, Deputy Mayor Kit “HoT”** Malthouse AM is in the Chair.

And the DCiC was showing his sensitive side.  He has clearly been hurt by the criticism that he is too busy to fulfil the role of MPA Chair and the nit-picking about his attendance record at MPA Committee meetings.  So the item on the agenda for his oral report consisted merely of him telling the Authority that he had had 46 meetings in the last month – and as he was away or one of the weeks concerned that works out as a productivity rate of around 3 per working day.

He promises to keep us informed of his work rate at future meetings, but that will not satisfy Jenny Jones AM.  She wants an indicator measuring the “quality” of the meetings.  No doubt those meeting HoT in future will be asked to fill in a form afterwards asking “how was it for them?”

However, HoT is clearly alive to this danger: he assured the Authority that he prefers what he calls “action” to meetings.”

Now isn’t that nice ….

The Metropolitan Police Authority is in session and the DCiC*, Deputy Mayor Kit “HoT”** Malthouse AM is in the Chair.

And the DCiC was showing his sensitive side.  He has clearly been hurt by the criticism that he is too busy to fulfil the role of MPA Chair and the nit-picking about his attendance record at MPA Committee meetings.  So the item on the agenda for his oral report consisted merely of him telling the Authority that he had had 46 meetings in the last month – and as he was away or one of the weeks concerned that works out as a productivity rate of around 3 per working day.

He promises to keep us informed of his work rate at future meetings, but that will not satisfy Jenny Jones AM.  She wants an indicator measuring the “quality” of the meetings.  No doubt those meeting HoT in future will be asked to fill in a form afterwards asking “how was it for them?”

However, HoT is clearly alive to this danger: he assured the Authority that he prefers what he calls “action” to meetings.

But the DCiC was also in magnanimous mood.  He recommended that his Conservative colleague, Tony Arbour AM, should be appointed to the MPA’s Strategic and Operational Policing Committee (despite two years of efforts by the Conservative Group on the London Assembly to keep Tony Arbour off the MPA itself and strenuous efforts at previous meetings to resist extra members being appointed to the Strategic and Operational Policing Committee).  It was mischievously suggested instead he should go on the under-subscribed Finance and Resources Committee.  However, this was squashed firmly when Tony Arbour told the Authority “You should never trust me with money” – a reassuring remark to the residents of Richmond-upon-Thames where he used to be Council Leader.

*    Dog-Catcher-in-Chief

**  Hand-on-Tiller

The Metropolitan Police Authority is in session and Mayor Boris Johnson is not in the Chair.  Yesterday, he announced that he was leaving the Police Authority and today he is in …..

Davos!

Actually, he missed the January 2009 meeting because of a trip to Davos a year ago, but that time he didn’t feel the need to resign from the Authority, as well.  I commented then on Mayor Boris Johnson’s Macavity-like characteristics.

So what is the new Macavity-lite MPA like?

Well, Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse AM (the UVCDMKMAM as was) is in the Chair and he’s loving it!

And Jenny Jones, Dee Doocey, Caroline Pidgeon and Joanne McCartney are all behaving as if someone shot their fox (I am resisting the temptation – just – to wander off into an extended metaphor about blonde-haired Mayors, ginger cats and red foxes called Basil Brush).  Much of their fun in the last fifteen months had been trying to lure the Mayor into some lovingly constructed elephant-trap.  Ensnaring Kit Malthouse would not provide the same gratification, so instead they are trying to goad him into losing his temper.  But he is in such a good mood at finally becoming MPA Chair (technically, he is not yet Chair because there is still to be a formal confirmation process through the London Assembly, but he has already had his name-plate changed) that none of it is working ….. so far.

The first signs of irritation from him are reserved for Councillor Chris Robbins, Leader of Waltham Forest Council, who has brought along a petition asking for an extra 120 police officers for his Borough, and suggestions from Jennette Arnold that the Resource Allocation Formula should be changed.  However, he recovers his composure and sweetness and light reign:  Waltham Forest go away thinking they may get something (probably not much) and no full-blown review of the Formula is conceded.

A local Liberal Democrat councillor sidled up to me while I was waiting for a bus in Crouch End earlier today (side note: the wait was another example of the stealthy degradation of the bus service since the election of Mayor Boris Johnson) to tell me that he thought the Greens were doing very well in Stroud Green.  He confirmed what I have been hearing from other sources that the Green Party with its radical edge and apparent principled approach to policy is beginning to make Liberal Democrats in London very jumpy that they are being outflanked.

Apparently, their fear is that the Cameron-lite approach being adopted by Nick Clegg is turning off many people who might otherwise be their supporters and that the voters they are losing are turning to the Greens (paticularly now that climate change is so topical and becoming a more significant political issue).  This is clearly bad news for sitting MPs like Lynne Featherstone and Sarah Teather …..

The Metropolitan Police Authority’s Uber Vice Chairman Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse AM (the UVCDMKMAM – to me, at least, if nobody else) has made no secret, since he first made his appearance on the MPA in July 2008, of his impatience with the Independent Members of the MPA.  “Who elected you?” he sneers at the slightest provocation and his visible irritation as some colleagues question, opine or just sit there quietly is palpable.  He makes it quite clear that he cannot wait until all this irritation can be focused on those MPA Members who are also London Assembly Members for whom he also has no time or really, really get on his nerves or otherwise grate on his sensibilities.

The UVCDMKMAM has been telling everyone that it is only a matter of months before the MPA is abolished and he will have unfettered access to Sir Paul Stephenson’s tiller.  At least he is consistent about this, as he has been saying the same thing for the last year and a half.

So how is this going to come about?  The UVCDMKMAM says that “Dave” has told him (suggesting a degree of personal intimacy that is not confirmed by other observers) that the Bill to abolish police authorities and to create directly-elected police commissioners will be in the first Queen’s Speech of a new Conservative Government (in the remote possibility that such a thing comes to pass – that’s my parenthetical comment, not Dave’s or the UVCDMKMAM’s).  It apparently goes without saying that of all the pressing issues that might face such a hypothetical Cameron administration this will be near the top of the list.

So to carry on with our hypothetical journey, the timetable begins to look like this:

• Bill introduced in Parliament – July 2010 (or more likely October/November 2010, given the complexity of the changes needed to the various Police Acts, the GLA Act etc and the length of time taken by the Home Office to prepare the draft legislation)
• Bill receives Royal Assent – late Spring or Summer 2011 (or more likely October/November 2011 depending on the size of the putative Government’s majority in the Commons and on how compliant are the Lords)
• Home Office prepare draft regulations to implement the details of the Act and lay them before Parliament – Spring 2012 (this is optimistic – the much simpler GLA Amendment Act that inter alia gave the Mayor the power to appoint himself as Chair of the MPA achieved Royal Assent on 23rd October 2007, but the regulations were not finalised in time for the Mayoral elections in 2008 and the Mayor could not become Chair of the MPA until five months after the elections on 1st October 2008; these regulations will be much more complex even assuming they do not also deal with the abolition of police authorities outside London)
• abolition of MPA – earliest date June 2012 (or when the mandate runs out for the present members of the MPA)

The UVCDMKMAM is right.  It may only be a matter of months – thirty-one in fact.

The Metropolitan Police Authority – reinstated after protests from the “Progressive Alliance” – is now in session.  Mayor Boris Johnson is in the Chair and 20 of the 23 members are present.  The intention is that the meeting should last no more than an hour and the Mayor greeted those members mustering for City Hall coffee before the meeting started with “This shouldn””””t take long”.  Nevertheless, there is no sign that there are any fewer questions being asked of the Commissioner on his monthly update report and - as is now usual – this is the main item on the Authority”s agenda.

Jenny Jones AM sought an assurance that meetings would not be cancelled in future (the Mayor mumbled in response and Uber Vice Chairman Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse AM fiddled with his two Blackberries and appeared not to hear).  She then sought to criticise the Metropolitan Police for “being too slick and efficient” in reviewing the material in respect of the News of the World phone hacking allegations so quickly   The Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson  and Assistant Commissioner John Yates obviously thought they couldn””””t win on that one.  However, the incisiveness for which Jenny Jones is famous was then on display when she referred to what News international said on the subject with the clear implication that therefore it must be true.

This led – rather tangentially – to Clive Lawton suggesting that it should not automatically be a serious disciplinary offence for police officers to sell information to the newspapers.  No-one else seemed to agree and Uber Vice Chairman Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse AM growled that MPA members who leaked information should expect to go to prison.

All in all, it was right that the Authority had its meeting, but there were no fireworks – so much so that the Guardian correspondent, Dave Hill (who seemed to be imposing a cruel and unusual punishment on his children by making them sit through the meeting with him) left after 45 minutes.

A row has broken out about the decision to cancel the July meeting of the Metropolitan Police Authority.  The main item of business had been intended to be consideration of the MPA’s Race and Faith Inquiry, but that won’t be ready in time.

Some suspicious souls have suggested that the cancellation may have more to do with Mayor Boris Johnson’s diary (holidays?) or alternatively that of the Uber Vice Chairman, Deputy Mayor Kit Malthouse.

Now Dee Doocey on behalf of all non-Conservative members of the London Assembly who sit on the Police Authority (and an independent member or two as well) has pointed out that it seems crazy for the Authority not to be meeting again until September.  There are important issues to discuss – not least the report of Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary into the policing of the G20 protests.  In any event, is it really a sign of openness and accountability for the Commissioner not to have an opportunity to report to the full Authority for a three month period?

Steve O’Connell, who chaired the meeting at which the decision to cancel was taken, has said that he expected “the progressive alliance to kick up”.

So will “the non-progressive alliance” dig in and hold firm or will they concede and re-call the meeting?  Watch this space ….

At its last meeting the Metropolitan Police Authority established a new Civil Liberties Panel which would consider just about everything.  There was much debate then about how long it would take to set the whole thing up and the need for the Panel to meet urgently to discuss G20 et al. 

The panel’s membership has now been confirmed – listed bizarrely under “Outside and Other Bodies” in the meeting’s papers – as Victoria Borwick, Dee Doocey, Kirsten Hearn, Jenny Jones, Joanne McCartney and Richard Tracey (who after all appears to be the putative chair), although Clive Lawton seemed to think he would also be a member but that his name had been left off in error.

A meeting of the Panel had been scheduled for this afternoon but Dee Doocey proposed that this be postponed because only three members could be present and Jenny Jones had to catch a train to Glastonbury and couldn’t stay.  So suddenly, all the urgency seemed to have evaporated.

The Authority did, however, unanimously agree to support a motion calling for the MPS to publish the report of its investigation into the death of Blair Peach in 1979 following a demonstration in Southall, West London.

I have just been to vote in the European elections (peers can vote in local elections and elections for the European Parliament, but not for the UK Parliament).  It was quite busy.  I’ve certainly known that polling station much quieter at 9am on an election day.

Maybe the voter turnout is going to be rather higher than was being predicted.  I am not sure who that will benefit, but I suspect for once a higher turnout will not be much help to the Labour Party.  I am not sure that the beneficiaries will be the Conservatives either, but we will see.  The only Party represented outside the polling station were the Greens …….